


black beauty

by orphan_account



Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sibling Incest, Songfic, an exception idk i’m a terrible person, bpd feels highkey, lana del rey - Freeform, thats usually my anti-kink but with this it’s like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 06:14:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16887171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ‘i paint my nails blacki dye my hair a darker shade of brown‘cus you like your women spanish, dark, strong and proud.’





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey so uh i’ve never written for this fandom but i was really inspired by some other authors in the community to try to write something (although i am in no way an author) and ig this is it !! this is kinda based on my own experiences too, in many toxic relationships i’ve changed myself to try and fit my partner, but i feel as though i no longer do that. this fic is effectively me turning my own issues into something comprehensible lmao.

‘i paint my nails black

i dye my hair a darker shade of brown

‘cus you like your women spanish, dark, strong and proud’

 

liam’s standing in front of the mirror the same way he does every time he has the opportunity to replace louise - or at least try to. she’s on holiday with the same cousins that forgot liam even existed until he’d ungracefully pointed out that it was ‘a bit fucking rude’ to invite noel and louise over for dinner and not ask him over too. liam can’t stand to be forgotten, which ties back into the mirror he’s staring into.

 

‘tell me i’m your world, that i’m your everything.’

 

he wonders if noel can see all the beauty he misses in the world sometimes. maybe he should stop fuelling it, stop trying so hard to please him and focus on something else. it’d probably work; maybe it’d finally make him realise what he was missing out on without liam in his life. as he’s thinking this, he brushes his hair, thinking of noel’s reaction to how much it’s grown since they last saw each other. a spark of light settles somewhere in liam’s chest and stays there until he realised how contradictory that is to his main plight - he has to make noel realise how important liam is to him.

 

the main problem with that is that he wouldn’t be able to keep it up. like an addict to junk, he’ll just find himself broken if he tries to quit noel all at once. would find himself broken even if he tried to come off him gradually. fuck.

 

‘i paint my house black

my wedding dress black leather too

you have no room for light, love is lost on you.’

 

liam can’t not cater to his desires though; if he didn’t, noel wouldn’t want him anymore, at least that’s what he’s convinced himself.

 

like a faulty lightbulb, why keep it around if it’s no use?

 

ironic to compare his use to one of light though, as all noel seems to want is to wallow in darkness now, anyway. feels comfortable where liam feels lost. feels at home where liam feels nothing but claustrophobic. liam loves light. noel feels comfortable in sadness. noel won’t change, so liam will.

 

none of that is really at the forefront of liam’s mind now though, what’s more important is if his levis are slim enough to not look baggy, but also not slim enough to look like 1982 freddie mercury. wouldn’t really matter in any other situation, but seeing noel alone isn’t exactly a situation he gets the privilege to be in every day.

 

‘i keep my lips red to seem like cherries in the spring’

 

pleased with how he looks, liam heads downstairs and packs his bag for the next night. thoughts of making noel appreciate him dashed by his fear of abandonment make him pack what he knows noel wants to see him in - that’s what matters, anyway.

 

‘darling you can’t let everything seem so dark blue.’

 

maybe one day it’ll be different. maybe one day, noel will be the one reaching out to him. it’s wishful thinking, but it’s all liam’s got.

 

‘sun and ocean blue

their magnificence, it don’t make sense to you.’

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘and if the stars collide will she relieve my soul?’

‘i don’t wanna waste my time if i can’t be by your side.’

liam arrives later than he planned. the walk to noel’s flat wasn’t usually incredibly long - about twenty minutes or so - but stopping at the corner shop and buying a pack of cigs as well as a packet of crisps added about ten minutes to his journey. not that he needed to be on time for noel, he‘s just another person after all. a person liam spends his entire life trying to get the approval of, but a human being nonetheless.

maybe this time it really is for real. maybe noel will be the one reaching out for him instead of leaving liam feeling like he’s hanging off a twenty story building in which the only thing between him and certain death is the grip noel has on him.

’you really shouldn’t think about god if she can’t see where you hide.’

before he can sink too deep into the fucked up dynamics of it all, liam’s being asked if he wants something to drink - if he wants to sit down - if he wants anything to eat and it’s so overwhelming to be here because although he’ll always think that wherever noel is doubles as liam’s home, this obviously isn’t just noel’s home. even when louise isn’t there he can still feel her presence in the picture frames, on the mantlepiece and even in the fridge magnets; liam feels wrong wishing it was him in louise’s place in so many of those photos.

‘so, how are things?’

the question rings in the air for a few seconds as liam pulls himself back from the edge of reality.

‘things are good, same old shit, y’know?’ liam manages, as though things really are good and he hasn’t had an epiphany about how used he really feels since the last time they did, well, this.

‘yeah, i know what you mean.’ noel says, sounding as though he really does understand the monotony of the days they spend without each other. well, liam thinks, of course he can read my mind, he always can.

‘i don’t wanna waste my time if i can’t make you decide.’

they’re on the bed now and it’s really no surprise, they both knew it was going to end up like this anyway. noel’s fingertips feel rough against his jaw, liam’s face clean shaven because, well, of course it is. their lips are completely locked to each other and liam thinks that maybe this is what heaven feels like - noel breaks the kiss.

“fuck, liam-“ noel’s cut off by a well calculated movement and his own noise that would be embarrassing if he wasn’t with the person he trusted most in the world - not that he’d ever admit that to anyone.

“is this alright?”

“yeah, you gonna tell me what you want?”

“noel-“

“gonna tell me that you wanna suck me off? wanna be a good boy for me?”

“fuck, noel” and before either party could say anything more, liam’s being pushed toward the ground - a gesture that could add to liam’s list of ‘things noel does that he’d really like to mention kind of makes him feel used’ if not for the hand gently pulling at the hairs at the top of his neck, and the expression on noel’s face that shows he really does worry about going too far sometimes. shows that liam’s maybe started to make a dent into the cold facade he’s been putting up ever since louise got fucking involved. just that’s enough to fill liam’s heart with warmth and a small pang of sadness that he’s trying his best to ignore because now really isn’t the time, liam.

sounds a little stupid to say that liam really does think noel is perfect in at least this aspect, seems to only expose his actual emotions when they’re fucking. seems like the only way to get to noel’s seemingly uncaring heart is through his dick, and liam’s fine with that. he’ll take what he can get in that regard. if sucking his dick is what’s gonna make him realise liam’s importance to him, so be it. 

liam’s also perfect for noel in this aspect - as enthusiastic as the first time. the only thing that’s changed is liam’s need to please has increased dramatically, and noel doesn’t see that as a bad thing anyway, unaware of how it’s tearing liam apart. noel’s making it known that liam’s doing a good job anyway though, telling him how good he is, telling him that he’s- he’s-

“perfect, my perfect angel- fuck” and with that, noel finishes and liam gets what he always needs but only sees ever so often, a window into what noel’s really thinking, showing him that somewhere, no matter how much he’s tried to bury it and drown it out, noel needs liam just as much as liam needs him.

‘when you read my lips i know you feel all cold, but i promise you my heart is made of gold.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what this is but like,, i can’t write smut or dialogue but i really tried lmao.

**Author's Note:**

> oof lads i’ve literally never written anything for this fandom or ship before cus i’ve always been moderately frightened of it but ig i’ve done it now !! listen to black beauty by lana del rey but like,, the cool version with the ambient sounds not the album version honestly it’s so good.


End file.
